My Blog

You know why i was off these few months? i’m busy doin’ something else. Recently, i plunged into a hobby. Aquarium scaping! IT all happened when i went back KT and stole my dad’s aquarium. I’ve always love small fishes and i had them when i was younger, in a big bath-tub-like antique bowl. MY dad dried it when i went to study in the uni. As a kid, i’ve been to rivers and lakes a few times with my adventurous uncle Sunny. He made me fall in love with nature with all his wild encounters and bizzarre stories.

And so i went fish keeping. The more i do it, the more i know i have to know it. So i read and read and i search here and there and tried with all sorts of stuff i can think off. Seriously, there is more in keeping a sucessful and well-balanced aquarium than just filter and good food. So for months i setup a mission to ‘recreate’ nature, or so i think i would.

With all my childhood memories, my engineering background, my understanding of wildlife and ecosystem, i tot i could’ve done it. And i did, but it was never sustainable. Problem presist, here and there. I was never mother nature. I never would be. And so i went to the stream in our campus, to relax my mind and find some inspiration from mother nature herself. It just suddenly struck me like a tunderbolt, from the tip of my head right down to the deepest corner of my soul: Why do i wanna mimic mother nature? why do i wanan keep fish in tank when they’re not meant to be there? Is ‘recreating’ nature a way to save nature?

I was troubled that day, and my thoughts are still wrestling on that til today. Evil and good, who decide that? Some say let nature be, some tried to safe. Those that opt for the second believe that they can. Can they? When we stop even for one momment, the nature takes its cause, again. If it’s meant to be extinct, it will. I read in forum and saw in shops, ppl buy and price rare water plants and fishes in order to create ‘nature’ in their house. But in a way or another how much damage has that made to us and nature, we’d never know.

I recalled some time ago, crypt. minima, a kind of local freshwater plant is facing extinction due to habitat destruction. After the news came out, many go after the plant and take them away from their already dying habitat on a mission to ’safe’ this endangered species. For your info, this plant is very sensitive to environment change, almost all will not survive the translocation mission. So mt frens, good and evil, how you define them? 

80年代的小孩都很特别。他们有很多共同点，因为当时的选择不多。我们看一样的卡通，玩一样的玩具，唱一样的儿歌。80年代的小孩，今天以非池中物。“金麟岂是池中物；一遇风云变化龙”。十多年前，泥菩萨发了一个预言，成就了今天千千万万条龙。包着这个相信，有了梦想的80年代的小孩，在21世纪找到他们的归宿，大展才华。而让我们拥有这个梦想的人，正是天下画集老板，《风云》开山祖师，马荣成先生。

十多年来，风云是我的命根，一个双刊漫画让我兴奋的期待未来的日子。风云是我二舅的珍藏品。我8岁开始从他那儿学看风云。我喜欢怀空，他的满腔热血，至情至义。每天，会在冲凉的时候借水力狂练排云掌法。十二式排云掌从行云流水到云莱仙境，天天把冲凉房搞得翻云覆雨。当然，怀空的绝技，火焰手也要练一练。从化金元决到灭火空焰，常常幻想自己也可以独当一面，也可以英雄盖世。

从天下会，到绝无神，到帝释天，到断浪，风云是多年来我想象力发挥的地方。也是让我相信邪不能胜正的主要原因。“人是否得救，不在于它是否可不可救，而在于救人的人，是否有一颗非救人不可的心。”丹青在风云小说这样形容聂风。这些英雄想法，在现代的社会，少之又少。你做了，还给人当傻瓜！我实在风云的影响下长大，所以我是傻瓜。

上两个月，我妈告诉我，我的漫画给白蚂蚁吃掉了。我好伤心。是的，有些东西属于过去。今天的我，不再在冲凉房练掌法了。 虽然我依旧相信英雄概念，但我也逐渐明白人性难测。而今天的风云漫画，也失去了当年的色彩。故事情节和画工也大不如前。今天的漫画，再也给不到当年的兴奋了。“楚楚，我虽然记得你和我的过去，但我现在以没有当年对你的那份感觉。”步惊云对楚楚说得分手话。

过了十多年，我和风云的拉拉扯扯，纠缠不清的感情，也改写上句号了。很难过。但，我和步惊云一样，练上了无求仪决，明白生死有命。不去强求，才是最强的武功。只有心胸淡然，正气浩然，才是举世无敌。好好珍惜身边的一切，享受幸福的快乐， 人生至此，方为天下无敌。我知道，我在迈向我的无敌人省。希望你也是。

                         金麟岂是池中物；一遇风云变化龙；

                             神蛟抬头欲上路，十载《风云》在心中。

It’s been a month… since i came back from chinese new yaer break… all i do is just work… day and night to complete my tanjong malim project. Now..it’s done.. waiting for feedback from my advisors. It’s a relief… but i look back with pride… Being engineer is good… you get satisfaction like no other profesion can offer.

My friends and ginnie told me to take it slow, that work is just you know… work… but it’s different… really. It’s more like the air that keeps you alive… keeps your mind thinking. It’s good to have your mind thinking.. flashing thousands of options infront of you and you just need to grab one and rasionalise it.

i love live, and nature.. now my work gives me the chance to satisfy both… i can feel that somehow.. i’m the medium between these two contrast block… trying my best to strike a balance so that man, and nature can co exist… forever. See now i’m working on flood control programm for tanjong malim… ppl want to ‘delete’ the river cause it always flood. I’m on the consultant side… so my aim is to restore the river, make sure there’s no flood, ppl happy and the river stay.  not sure my idea would work.. but i tried

Some day… when i’m good enough, i’m gonna design and built a small city/ housing area. telling ppl that nature and civilization can co-exist. and i will, when i have enough knowlegde to do so.

Honestly, job is a mundane work, things are repeated every single day… but there’s always something different. always… i saw it. do you?

Cheers! been a while. Has always been a while. I told you i could be a good man if i have that consistency. So here i am, out of boredem, writting my blog, AGAIN. yes, AGAIN.

It’ll be Chinese New Year in less than 2 weeks. Everybody’s busy. Some rush for new year shopping, some rush to clean and decor the house, some rush to finnish unfinnish job/ task before the new year began. I, however, still have not warmed up. Maybe my spring is not here yet, maybe i left my heart in winter.

This is my first time celebrating new year as a working guy. Kindda not get used to when suddenly you felt shy to ask money from dad to get new clothes. It’s even funnier when you have to buy oranges for your colleauges, when all this while you’re just incharge of finnishing what your parents bought home. I used to planned my holidays early and skip some classes for new year celebration when i was in school. now not anymore. I am lucky enough there’s only 2 chinese in my organization. Although having leave is no problem, having extra leave is. See that s****s. Just think about on the 16 or 17 of feb, millions of chinese + other races (since it’s a long break) will be on the road…. and i’m one of them. damn!

The worst part about chinese new year for adults is the thought of spending. Dad, i pity you have to put up with it for so long, and i hope you pity me back for i have to endure it as long as you did. It aint easy. Chinese are spenders, they are EXTRAORDINARY spenders! and when you don’t spend, dun consider yourself a chinese, or so ppl will categorise you. It aint easy to celebrate chinese new year, especially if you’re just learning and staring your trade in the society. Spending is a luxury for me, as i’m only paid little for now.

Now when you think about that, you’d know wha i’d rather stay in my winter bed and wish hard that spring had not come so fast. But, you can’t change the world, can you? So no new clothes for me… Ginnie bought me one. i like it. My first stripe shirt! vertical stripe. shall make me look longer… no, i mean taller. now i have to figure out where to dig a 300-400 extra to get me home and back to work. Wish me luck.. now i really need gong xi fa cai. LoL.

Having said it all, i think i still yerning to go home. to see my family and frens. One thing’s for sure. I know they wont mind what i wear or how cheapo i am not getting them any gift for new year. That’s true. In the land of turtle…. money aint that important. Something that city ppl should learn. So when i’m on my way home. i’ll be thinking about my grandma’s ORIGINAL hainanese chicken rise, my uncle’s homemade fire creker…no it’s CRAKER.. they really crack your drums, my lil cousins’ nuinsance… and most of all, i’ll be thinking about the new year. The event that unites all chinese, from toronto to cape town. London to Kuala Terengganu. a true celebration of life.

Gong Xi Fa Cai.

There has been a recent fuzz about this mulnicipal council in Penang. Apparently, during council meetin, the security CCTV had been all the while focused on womens hips. Wonder why? cause according to the coucil spokeman, it’s ‘arousing and too hard for the men not to give attention’ crazy? wait til you read his next comment that reads ‘it’s the ladies, they shouldn’t have dress so attractively.’ don’t believe? believe this. And a series of women dressing issues surfaces in news papers and news. Some idiots goes as far as saying women dress too sexy and invite being rape and molested.

Look this is not an outburst. I’m just sharing my view and hopefully spread some idea about the ladies and guys out there. It’s a very critical condition if ppl think rape is all the consequence of the victim. IT"S SICKENNING. Ok, now lets solve this problem. Answer these question: Do you go hit a guy on his face because you think he’s ugly or yong sui? Do you rob a bank because you think they are rich? DO you kill a kid because he’s mentally retarded and cannot live any longer? Is yong sui, being rich, being mentally ill are all reasons for you to commit crime and do justice on your own? If your answer is no, then why the hell should being attractive is? Can you ‘deugly’ ‘derich”deretard’? or you expect a naturally attractive girl to dress like a cocoun? or possiblaly rinse herself with HCL every morning? Think again my friends.

For me, what differs human from animals is not only our brain, it’s also our heart. Both play important role for intellectual growth, which sustains self control and self discovery. If a cat like GArfield tells you that "Miow, she’s hot, she’s sexy, she’s a naked pussy. I can’t hold back and Purr~~~ i’m gonna rape her now!" OK! fine, animal, go ahead! you dun get fined for jailed cause you have mechanical insertion with a ‘pussy’ on the street, again, reminder, the ruls are valid only for animals. But we ARE HUMAN!!! Unless some idiots silently admit that they are cats and dogs.

There’s a chinese proverb, ‘Do not, little crime; Miss not, little good’ A little crime that as small as peeking at girls, should not be recognised as a ‘natural sin of all men’. a crime is a crime, it’s violation of rights and in the name of legal constitution, a crime shall be brought to the justice. Don’t go protecting anyone, of any importance, don’t vetoed human’s will to have a fair civilization.  This is a democratic society, I repeat DEMOCRATIC! every decision of any person in the society should think first, before they act, the first question to ask "Is what i’m doin’ the will of public? is it approved and OK for me to screw girls because they’re pretty?’ If your answe is Yes, well, go ahead. Have a good f***, animal!

Toilet is a devine place for me. It is the a private place that for once, you’re truly on your own. The first full sentence i learned in english was ‘excuse me teacher, may i go to the toilet? tummy egg (as i pronounce it at the age of 5)’ I always have trouble with my tummy. I go to toilet more than anyone at my age, and therefore, i am very, i mean VERY particular about toilets.

I have this habit of shitting wherever i go. So i always try out toilets. It is the first thing i look for everytime i enter a new buidling, as safety precaution. As a seasoned toilet users. i realise Malaysia have very funny perceptions when it comes to toilets. These are just a few things i found rather ridiculous.

First, toilets generally are divided into the gents and ladies room. But toilets in Malaysia have further divisions. My work requires me to travel to a lot of government agencies, and i notice that it is the government that introduce such divisions. Most toilets for government buildings have gents and ladies for insiders and outsiders seperately. i can fully understand why toilet is divided into male and female. Guys dun have clitories, and girls dun have penis. But name me, what on earth does a government male servant have that differ from ordinary ppl? why do they need to have their own toilet? Do they keep P n C docs or information inside? or is it simply that their penises needs special attention? i’m sorry but i’m a governmetn servant too. And the worse part? when they have thier own toilets, they prefer to shit at other toilet, you know, just to keep theirs celan and dry. DAMN!

Second thing may offend the girls. I do not know about girls, wether they clean or how they clean their clitories after peeing. But many Malaysian guys have this ugly way of cleaning their shafts. They would go into cells to pee… just because they thought peeing is something private, and with their pants hanging halfway and also their member swaying in the air, they would walk out of the cell and clean the penis at the sink! suddenly, they are not ashame… i wonder why. Well they normally do this when there is less or no ppl. But i bet guys out there must have bump into some idiots with that idiotic position and idiotic expression when you open the toilet door. I do, a lot of times!

Finally, lining up for cells. In other countries.. well i learned this from my gf, that even if there is five cells, there would always be just one line. In Malaysia, if you have five cells, you have five lines. Whats the difference? Imagine you are on emergency, and you choose a line. Then even when other cells are empty, you can’t go in. The worse part? you’re lining up for an out-of-service cell that they dun bother to put up signs. Congratulations, Malaysian toilets.

There are a lot of beautiful toilets in the country. But the level of maintanace is very disappointing. Even at malls where you have to pay 20 cents to go in, you would come out feeling that it’s a poor investment. It’s not the management, but rather the attitude of users that counts. So think twice when you go inside a toilet, treat it as your own, you never know the next guy using is someone as particular and desperate like me. It’s not that you’re gonna get fined or what, i’m just gonna curse you to hell. Cheers! for the toilets!

三国是中国史上最灿烂的时代。这一点，很少人会反对。喜欢三国的人很多，从然不熟悉，但三国经典之作如：三顾茅庐，火烧赤壁 总有听过。 这些事绩有真有假，一千八百多年后的我们也没办法分清楚。可以肯定的事，一切的故事，一切的深化，和一切所谓的历史，都是凡人之作。不管是史家，作家还是说书先生，人毕竟是人。人有主见，有喜好。这些年来，我们相信的正史，到底有多正？而演义有多假，最终还得以读者的个人理智和喜好去判断。换取话，历史没有对和错，也没有绝对的黑和白。

去年一次去志良家，发现火凤燎原，从此对三国，对历史刮目相看。火凤燎原（此后简称火凤）作者，陈某绝对是个人才。他提倡的历史观点对我很有说服力。如果史家也受制于皇帝和封建思想，那么史书到底可不可靠？到底有没有给隐瞒和曲歪的事实？所以，曹操是好是坏，刘备是忠是奸，这一切之间本来就有很大的争论空间。针对这些，陈某重写三国。以他个人的想法及喜好去描写三国，衬托出三国复杂和光辉的历史。 再续。。。

There comes a day in life when you suddenly stop all your work and wondering what’s all your friend doin’ right on that second. This thought never came across me, not until recently. I’ve been receiving news about frends changing job, settling in other countries, making business. It is a big transition for me to accept that half a year ago we’re still sitting side by side, talking craps.

There are times e when we do not pay much attention to things or ppl around us. I couldn’t remember when my father sideburn turn grey… or that my mom stops taking supper. I couldn’t remember when did i saw my best frens from uni (shoutout to Ken, Seng Lee, Chee Yong, Chu Hau ……) or when did i stop working on my abs. But there will be one day that you’ll choose to sit down and think about all those things… like now.. and wonder what had you missed.

I miss a lot of ppl, a lot oof things i used to do. But it doesn’t mean i’m not enjoying right now. It’ll forever be a part of me. I have my own room, a lovely job, my soul mate… i have everything i need… but there’s still something i miss…. i miss you… my frens…Half a yera has gone since we really meet up. For those that i’ve heard from, i’m glad to know that all are doin’ well. There’re those who just started working, some who just quited their first job, some are persuing Masters.. some even venture to foreign land… I like to hear from all of you… i like to know that you are fine…

I know that someday, we’ll meet… and i know that by then.. you and me, will both me better persons, maybe in different ways… but definately better. I love to leave and come back… cause that’s the way you see changes easily. I anticipate to see you… the better you… til then, cheers, for friendship and life!

It’s been a while since i last wrote a post.

It’s been a while since i really rest, and i hardly am right now.

It’s been a hard and long august for me. Well things seems to fall into place right now. I’m settled down, so is my girl friend. But still, a lot need to be done. A lot need to be figured out. There’s always time.

I finally got into REDAC (River Engineering and Urban Drainage Centre), USM. It’s an honour to be here, among a small group of people who still care about the environment like me. I hope it’ll provide me with a plattform to do something great, and contribute back to the society. Since the first day, i never realyl got a chance to rest. Catching up and learning new things. I have a good feeling that i’ll love this job. I wanna stay here forever, but that’s for now.

And my gf. She cried and cried and cried over the posting. (She got Kulim hospital). But she’s fine now. And i can see she enjoys her job a lot.. well… not the place though. I’m glad i have a loving girl friend that’s willing to help others. And so i have my life, my love and my dream… all being next to me at the momment. Edwin mcCann: I Couldn’t Ask For More.

But still there’s always a balance. God give you so much, and he’ll have to toll and tax you for it. i got my bike stolen last sunday… right under my nose. and my hush puppy shoe broken… Ginnie say it’s worth it cause i wore it for so long… but still i’m sad of it. I rejected a chance to join a MNC company cause i love what i’m doin’ right now. Not matter the salary. It’s the job and the fact that i’m doin’ something for the world is what’s important to me.

In a nut shell, everything is fine… and i hope it is for all of you, my friends. Good Day, got to run.

I’m alive, still alive. Still resting and nusuring my tiredness from last week. It was an action-packed week for me. Some may say it is exiceted. For me, its hectic, no other than that.

My week starts with the 14, when i found out that the G2000 (The only long sleeve shirt i have) i got is too tight for me (the forever issue, i should’ve known!). My convo is 6 days a way and i regreted din’t get one when Ginnie asked me to last week. So all the way to penang, all the way back, spend 300 only to found out that i bought shirts with similar colours, and 2 pants of similar and same size as the one i previously had. well at least it shall provide me with option, when needed. Please read on

15 was another day to penang. This time to take my robe, and for 4 other friends. the great part is, i’m riding a bike. after all the stupid form filling, i got my robes. Trust me that i dun like the crowd and i dun like the event. Big crowds always drive you nuts. But i made up all that with a happy tea time with my fren, good fren, great fren actually in Mc D. the nuggets always save the day. LOL

16 was the day of the week, well, supposedly. I was supposed to report for duty for my first day of work at the River Engineering and Urban Drainage Research Centre (REDAC), in USM. The whole thing went wrong, and i had the time to write to you now. First, it rained in 700 am in the morning, i got all wet like a lab out of water. Then when i step in the office, there was no one. I waitied for like 15 minutes and one of the person in charge asked me ‘why, i tot you’re suppose to start on 1st sept, they never told you?’ ok then 1 sept it is. and thanks for the early refreshing shower.

17, i tell you what, it’s the best day of the week, probably of the best after i finnish schooling. 5 of my best frens came to my place for a gathering before they go to penang for convo. They made the effort to come to this small town of parit buntar just for me. and for that momment, i see friendship again, or even more, brotherhood. we talked and chated and laughed and at night, cried together. Who says boy doesn’t cry?

18, spot check from my parents at my place. They cameover for tomorrow’s convo. after meeting up with me, we went to penang together. had our dinner at tambun, cause we heard the bridge was terribly jammed. i had osyter, my first since 10 years i think. and all the day was about settling my family and meeting up my friends.

19, the day that got me into what i am now, and i’m still recovering. My convocation. I had to sweat to get on my suite and robe. and sweat again to help my frends. and when the time comes, i realised all the fuzz was for that stupid 30s when youo receive the scroll from the person you don’t know who. The proudest part is not the scroll, but the applause i got from my fellow frends. If youare reading, thank you my frends, you’re my greatest achievement in 4 years of uni life. The highlight of the day was about the night time celebration. me, ken and chu hau, 3 of us made some serious, very serious commitment to each other. Something i guess that will bond us for life, a bond that maybe destined to be from previous lifes. I’m glad we did.

20 was the day of total relief. everything’s over. I’m set for home. rode all the way back to KT. My aim is to take pics with my grand parents. to make them proud of me. I’m not showing… but just to please old folks. You never know when they’ll go. thanks for reminding me Ginnie. I love you

Ok like i said, it’s a longggggggggg week so the notes are long as well. Hope you’re not bored. will post some of my convo pic later. take care, god bless for weeks ahead.